


Little man in your bloodstream

by NiamhofTirnanOg



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life
Genre: Alien Virus does not know how human bodies work, Blow Jobs, Blue cum, Come Eating, Dream Sex, Dry Orgasms, M/M, Masturbation, Mild Transformation, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Osmosis Jones/Venom mashup with HLVRAI, Threesome, Virus!Benrey, freaky brain sex, handjob, powerade cum, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:27:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26111881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamhofTirnanOg/pseuds/NiamhofTirnanOg
Summary: Benrey, like most virus’s, just wants to find a good host to settle down with. A lucky Mr Freeman has caught his eye, will Benrey score the man of his dreams?
Relationships: Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman/Barney Calhoun, benry/gordon
Comments: 47
Kudos: 373





	1. Got love in those veins.

**Author's Note:**

> This is like a very weird Mashup of Hlvrai, Venom and Osmosis Jones, cherry picked to hell and back for my own self indulgence. Hope you y’all enjoy.

Gordon hung up the phone and sniffled, readjusting the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 

Gordon hated calling in sick, but he was half certain he had caught whatever this was in Black Mesa anyway. They made him sick so they could afford to go without their little errand boy awhile.

Gordon was maybe, just a little bit petty. Just a bit. It had nothing to do with being made to fetch coffees and do mundane menial tasks despite being just as capable as all the other old farts he worked with. Nope. Gordon was cool with it all. Totally.

To be more reasonable, since a lot of his coworkers were quite a bit older, it wouldn’t be good to go and spread illnesses around like they were free pens at a business fair. He was sure their immune systems would not be able to handle a light breeze, let alone whatever  _ this _ was. 

Cold sweats, tremors, a high temperature. He had thrown up, but only once, early on after he had first started feeling a little funny, thankfully, it almost seemed like a fluke since he hadn’t felt a drop of nausea since. 

Gordon wasn’t well versed on diseases on any kind, other than the repressed memories of being shown abhorrent pictures of diseased genitals during sex ed back in highschool. The attempt to scare his class into abstinence did not work, but it sure did leave him with visuals he’d much rather forget. But yeah. He didn’t know enough about regular non sex related diseases to know what he had. Fuck he was getting off topic. 

Right the other thing. Lately his thoughts had been all… foggy. He had trouble concentrating, random memories he thought he’d forgotten would resurface and he’d be lost in them awhile, before snapping to attention, to a cold cup of coffee. He couldn’t focus for shit, and he really did not trust himself around heavy machinery right now. Honestly he had stopped using his cooker a while ago, only trusting himself to microwave the occasional plate of shitty Hungry Man TV dinners and instant noodles.

Sometimes he’d feel dizzy, off balance, and he would have to lie down wherever he was a while, to wait it out. His body would ache, sometimes all over, sometimes in random but highly specific places. Long story short, Gordon was a huge mess right now. 

He sighed, and left his living room to head back to his warm nest of a bed. He had hauled every throw pillow, blanket, and spare bed sheet back to his room, and as messy as his king sized bed now looked, it was pretty cozy. 

He was allowed some indulgences when he was sick, he thought. Setting his mug of tea close enough from his bed to reach, but far away enough not to spill if he thrashed around in his sleep, he sank back down into bed, and closed his eyes. 

———

Benrey had really hit the jackpot with his latest host. Host? Victim? He wasn’t really sure what to call him, this _ thing _ they had going, but Gordon was  _ perfect _ . It wasn’t just the crush he had on the man. What was he, gay? I mean, he was, but, there was more to it than just that. Most of Benrey’s previous hosts had been  _ so _ lame. 

Before Earth, on Xen, it was all the same old stuff. Headcrabs again? Yawn. When he first realised he had infected something new he was ecstatic. He learned it was called a “human” and that it was a “scientist” from Earth. Benrey wanted in, so he hitched a ride back. 

Disappointedly, not only did all the human hosts he infected suck at staying alive, but worse of all, they were  _ boring _ . 

He had thought about ditching Black Mesa entirely, trying to find some wild desert animal to joyride, when he had suddenly found a memory of Gordon in his then current host's head. 

The host didn’t seem to like Gordon all that much, for reasons Benrey couldn’t really understand. Feelings of resentment, swirled in the man's thoughts, and Benrey thought he caught something about it being because Gordon was younger? He really didn’t get humans. But he did get one thing. 

Gordon was seemingly different from the other scientists and guards he had encountered and infected. Maybe this one would be entertaining. It was worth a shot. 

It took him a while to navigate his way into infecting Gordon’s body. He had to switch several sectors, getting one host to cough near a guard being reassigned, another to sneeze and leave him on the surface of a door handle for a few hours. A domino effect of host after host, all compounded by the fact he struggled to keep them alive long enough to get them to do anything. Usually, if he had the time and energy to do so, he could transmit himself via touch, but many of the scientists here wore gloves, so it was like playing Zelda on Hero mode. It didn’t help that most of the scientists here weren’t the touchy feely type. He struggled to nudge them into even  _ considering  _ skin to skin contact. Uptight bastards, too good to give a handshake to a guard, wuh wuh. Fucking. Cringe ass losers. 

He eventually found a promising lead that should take him right to Gordon, when he shifted through a passing memory of a close interaction between Freeman and a guard named… Barney? One way ticket to Gordos, coming right up. Chugga chugga woo woo. 

When he had finally reached Freeman via Barney he felt euphoric. The man of his dreams at last. He thought he might have to nudge Barney into giving the man a handshake, but no, it seemed Gordon very much WAS a touchy feely type, leaning in to place a hand on the guards cheek as he talked. He passed through his skin, and at last, was inside (hehe) the legend himself.

And fuck if Gordon wasn’t even better than he imagined. For one, despite looking like a weak little nerd like the other scientists, his body seemed pretty healthy. Decent enough to not like, immediately start failing after he caught a ride. There was also the fact that he was  _ funny _ . Dude fucking lost his shit over a debate about Chuck E Cheese. If he could he would have got the popcorn out while digging through his thoughts and memories. Guy had hilarious internal dialogue too, dude never seemed to stop thinking. He was mad salty about his coworkers, hearing his passive aggressive bullshit cracked him the hell up. 

Plus, c’mon, his body was fairly attractive, or he figured it must have been, by human standards. Man had a sexy spleen. 

What could he say, he’d always been a spleen guy. 

He wasn’t about to give such a rare loot drop up. He just had to avoid accidentally killing him. 

That was much easier said than done. 

The first few human hosts he infected after being brought back to Black Mesa had all started shutting down quickly. Too quickly. Human life forms were much, much more delicate than the creatures of Xen it seemed. He had to keep jumping ship before he killed the frail things, and he had left a long trail of broken humans behind him before finally infecting Freeman. It’s not like he felt guilty or anything. He was a virus. He was supposed to infect, multiply, and make life forms sick. It’s like, his whole thing. Scorpion and the Frog, Farmer and the Viper, etc etc. Sure, maybe it was typically expected he killed his hosts, but like, a dead host was no fun. He got bored of that a long time ago, back in Xen. 

It was in his nature to hurt and move on but, to keep hold of Gordon, Benrey was going to have to make some changes. He started, by trying not to cause multiple organ failure, and was only slowly improving from there. He was doing his best on easing Gordon’s body into accepting him. It was difficult, since everything in his body saw Benrey as a huge threat. 

His own duplicate cells were already flooding Gordon’s system, and he enjoyed bullying the locals. When he first started multiplying, he had started eating a lot of the cells in Gordon’s body to assert dominance, T posing on the T cells, but had stopped after realising it was making Gordon sick. Sicker anyway. Vomiting isn’t fun man.

He still chomped on the occasional cell tho. Just to flex.

It was funny seeing how scared they were of him. Dumb little chicken hats. 

Of course Gordon’s body just had to be lame and call security on him. Benrey made short work of Gordon’s little bootboy army, and didn’t fucking regret it. 

Ok, so maybe he did sorta regret eating Gordon’s white blood cells. Stupid boot boys had it coming, but uh, it seems like humans needed them to live? Oops. Top ten Benrey cringe moments. 

Gordon Freeman, more like, Gordon Weakman. Haha, Got ‘im.

But yeah, uh, sure, Benrey could keep out other diseases himself, no way he was sharing this hot bod with any lame earth virus. How hard could it be to defend one body? 

Very hard, actually. He wasn’t always sure what was harmful and what was supposed to be there. Gut bacteria for instance. How was he to know they helped Gordon digest things? Fucking backwards bro. You telling me there’s bad bacteria and good bacteria? Wack.

He didn’t know shit about all this human body stuff. Shifting through Gordon’s memories didn’t help either. The man's memories were all “mweh mweh Nerd Science degree” and “ top ten epic babies first fail moments” which, confirmed Dilf,  _ nice _ , but not so helpful when it came to keeping his dad bod alive. 

He thought he had found a promising older memory earlier, but it turned out to be some repressed shit about some class he took in school about sex. 

He could remember that, but not anything about his biology classes? Lame. He had rifled through tons of Freeman’s memories by this point, and while it was fun to watch, he really needed something, anything to keep the dumb human alive. 

He swatted a nearby cell in annoyance, grabbing it, making as if to eat it when…

Light bulb. 

Shit, why do it all himself when he can get these plebs to do it for him? 

He gripped the hapless cell harder, bringing it in close. If he had lips he would be smacking them, just to see it panic even more.

Spreading his tendrils around it, he encompasses and passes it into his body with a soft  _ fwoosh _ . 

He holds onto it a while, trying to figure out how to go about this without straight up digesting it, before spitting it back out.

The cell is, while not exactly a duplicate of himself, no longer a Little Gordo Gordell original.

No, it’s a first gen Gordlet Ben Bot. First of many. Under his control but still able to manage its original functions.  _ Nice.  _ This is a game changer. 

This was going to make shit so much easier. And he would no longer have to share Gordon’s body with its stupid cells either. Gordon’s body would be his own personal dilftopia. Win win. 

He’d just have to do this to all of Gordon’s cells. Shit, there were like, a lot of those. Maybe he could fuck around and figure out a cheat code. 

Alright, mission, Assimilate and replace is GO. 

Time to speedrun this shit. 

———

Gordon had been feeling a little better lately. 

He still felt hot and flushed, but he wasn’t as achey anymore, and the dizzy spells seemed to have stopped for the most part. He definitely seemed to have regained his appetite. 

He chowed down on his third pack of instant noodles. He guessed it was because he was ill, but lately, he’d been hungrier than usual. That was a good sign right? It meant his body was working hard at getting better and needed the energy, or something. 

This was fine.

———

Benrey’s plan seemed to be going well. It was gonna take a long while to replace all his with his Lil Ben Bots, but he was getting there. 

He’d fiddled with parts of Gordon’s organs, trying to figure out what he could mess with without making Gordon too ill, making tiny changes here and there, enough to let the human adjust to the sudden changes to his biology. He had to start sending lil brain nudges for Gordon to eat more, because the changes were burning more calories than he thought would be good for his body. The guy had to eat SO much, but barely retained any of it. Maybe he could change that later. 

No use installing quality of life patches until he fixed the bugs though, so he got back to work.

He spied a part of Gordon’s brain he noticed lighting up sometimes, and  _ poked _ .

  
  


———

  
  


Fuck, could the flu get you horny? 

had decided a while ago that he had probably picked up some isolated strain of the flu down in Black Mesa, but now he was starting to wonder. He shifted uncomfortably, and tried to think unsexy thoughts. He failed. 

A very quick google search did confirm that apparently this was relatively normal, judging from the numerous topic pieces titled “why do we get horny when we’re sick?” 

Well Gordon supposed that explained that then. It was a little weird that it had never happened before the previous times he got ill, but hey, he hadn’t been properly sick in a long time. Things change. He brushed off any fleeting feelings of concern and sighed.

Well. He might as well take care of business while he was up.

If he had a strange feeling of  _ curiosity  _ in the back of his mind while he touched himself, that was probably just his imagination. 

———

  
  


Well. 

Fuck. 

Benrey hadn’t expected such a reaction when he had started poking around in his brain, but  _ damn _ . 

That felt… nice. 

Really nice.

The wave of endorphins hitting Gordon’s system suggested that it felt pretty good for him too. Damn. Dude should do that more often. He had a whole ass cheat code to happiness and wasn’t using it? Wack. Why wasn’t he just jacking it off 24/7? 

He wondered if he could hotwire the pituitary gland a little bit to produce endorphins more often. 

Maybe he shouldn’t. For all he knew, humans would like, straight up die if they were too happy. God, it was hard work fiddling with human biology. Like working on a car without being able to read the manual. 

Wait.

Fuck. 

That Google Gordon used. Shit. A little nudge here and there, and Freeman would be doing all the hard work for him. Why didn’t he think of that sooner?

Benrey was a certified  _ genius _ , Gordon should hand his phd over. Print out a tiny version of it and swallow it or something… 

...huh, maybe he could convince Freeman to swallow a mini game console. Computers came in tiny, and you could run Doom on anything. He had made Gordon watch a video where a guy ran doom on his printer and he damn near lost it howling. In the end he had made Gordon sink several hours into watching “Doom runs on everything” type videos. 

He couldn’t really make Gordon do anything he didn’t want to. Just nudge things a little. He was glad that Freeman enjoyed watching game related shit. 

———

Gordon had been going on weirdly specific Wikipedia dives lately. Maybe it was the boredom of being home alone sick, but he must have read up on the entire human body by now. He would just binge read article after article, mug of tea in his hand. That was another thing. Lately he had stopped drinking so much coffee. He wasn’t sure when his body decided to stop craving it, but it was nice. He figured it would have been a lot harder to do. 

He’d been thinking about giving coffee up for a while, but due to workplace expectations, hadn’t found it in him to quit. Forget drugs, the real peer pressure was conforming to toxic expectations about overworking yourself and pulling all nighters, which he had done many since his time at MIT before graduating into doing the exact same at Black Mesa. Really, he hadn’t had a decent night's sleep since Highschool. His sleeping habits were  _ fucked _ . 

God damn. 

This bout of flu had been a blessing in disguise actually. He’d been getting really, like, really good sleep lately. Like sure, he’d waste away his day at the computer skimming Wikipedia, and for some reason, he’d suddenly gotten really into gaming, watching streamers and shit? No clue where that had come from, but it did pass the time while he was stuck at home so. Whatever. 

But at night, he was out like light. No tossing or turning, no staring at the ceiling blankly for hours trying to get his brain to shut off long enough for him to pass out. 

No, he lay down, got comfy, and immediately conked out. Not only that, but he stayed asleep, and had been getting a good consistent 9 hours or so each night? Fucking bliss. He hoped he kept that habit once he had gotten better. Gordon could get used to this. The one thing that bothered him was how vivid his dreams had been, but he was sure he could chalk that up to fever. 

———

  
  


Wow what the  _ fuck _ . Humans needed like, nine hours of sleep or something, and Gordon Failman here was getting on average around 4 hours before he hopped on board!?

What the fuck was  _ wrong _ with humans. He was lucky he had ol Benny boy looking out for him. 

Not only that, but the guys brain seems to remember more memories he didn’t have before while he was asleep. The guy had gone to school naked, like, so many times. And on the day of the ‘Big Test’ too. Gordon’s teeth had fallen out,on multiple occasions. He thought that was a little odd, but he remembers an article about milk teeth, so he figured that humans were like, uh, sharks or something. Constantly regrowing teeth and shit. 

Humans could respawn too apparently? Gordos was a lil clumsy boy, he had fallen to his death, like, dozens of times. If he had known humans could do that he might not have been too worried about killing his previous hosts. He didn’t know how it worked, so didn’t want to risk it, just in case, but it was handy to know. 

Lots of memories about kissing that Barney guard actually. He didn’t think they were THAT close. Huh. Gordon always woke up embarrassed after. Why so embarrassed about making out with your homies? 

Little gay ass liked security guards? 

Would Gordon like  _ him _ if he looked like that? 

Maybe Gordon just really liked a man in uniform. 

He didn’t see what was so attractive about the Black Mesa Security guard outfit, but hey. He was into lil nerdy ass scientists apparently. He couldn’t judge. Much. 

He started thinking up a human sona for himself. He wasn’t sure how much he could safely mess with Gordons brain at the moment, but if he could figure out a way to let the dude know he was hitching a ride without freaking him out, he’d need to make a good impression. 

  
  


———

  
  


Ok, what the fuck. Gordon stared at the bloody tooth in his sink.

He was just brushing his teeth, getting ready to finally head back to work after his bout of flu, and he just spit out a whole fucking tooth?! 

Gordon felt his heart begin to race as he panicked, and stuck a finger into his mouth to search for any gaps. He couldn’t feel any. 

“Whuuu-?”

Gordon peered into the mirror closely. All his teeth were there. Same set of chompers since he’d lost his last milk tooth more than a decade ago. No. Wait.

He looked more closely. Was that one tooth…  _ sharper _ than normal?

  
  


———

  
  


Oh Benrey Fucked up. Big time.

He had wrongly assumed that stuff Gordon saw when he was asleep were  _ memories. _ They were fucking  **dreams** .

No wonder the dude had a near stroke about his tooth growing back. 

When Benrey had noticed the loose tooth, he had panicked, thinking he’d fucked something up that stopped Gordon from growing it back, so he… gave it a little nudge. Just a little. 

He didn’t know it would come out all spiky like that. Not gonna lie, Benrey thought it looked pretty rad. 

Freeman should be thanking him, honestly. 

It did look a lil out of place amongst all his other teeth though. Benrey should go ahead and fix those too. 

Jeez. More work. 

Anyway, Benrey needed to re-evaluate the knowledge he had gained from Gordons dreams. He needed Gordon to do some more research on Wikipedia, once he’d finished at Black Mesa. 

He did still wonder about Gordons Barney dreams though. If the man just dreamt those up, that was pretty sad bro. Guy lusted for the man that much he needed to forge memories? Cringe. 

Hmm. Dreams. What could Benrey do with dreams? He had an idea. 

  
  


———

  
  


Gordon awoke with a gasp.

Fuck that dream was vivid. It was one of his usual stress dreams, he was losing teeth. In this particular teeth dream, he had begun to choke on hundreds of loose teeth blocking his throat, and spilling out of his mouth. He was crying as he choked on the bits of bone, unable to breathe, convinced he would die. 

And then a man appeared. 

“Shit dude, you need some help? Ol Benrey Boys here to help.” And the man had smiled. A strange smile, of too sharp teeth. 

It was… weird. He looked just a little like Barney, Black Mesa security uniform and everything, but something was  _ off _ . 

The man did… something, and the teeth vanished. 

“Guh- fuck, thank you.”

Gordon had thanked the stranger genuinely, the dude did just save his life after all. 

“Uh, your name is… Benrey, right? 

“Yeah, got a problem with it?” The man cocked his head, peering at him from under the helmet. 

“Oh, no no, it just reminds me of a friend, that’s all.” Gordon had stammered out, not wanting to offend the man. 

“Right, right, your-“ Benrey did some air quotes. “Frieeeeeeend.” 

He snickered. 

Gordon had blushed in the moment and was stunned speechless. How did he know…? 

“Uh- I, that is-“ and was cut off.

“Hey, you wanna see something cool?”

Benrey didn’t wait for an answer and snapped his fingers. 

Their surroundings changed, to that of a eerily green lit world.

Floating islands made of a sponge like material drifted listlessly in the sky. Colourful Nebulas swirled in the distance, and strange pointed structures rose out of the ground like monoliths. 

It was strangely beautiful.

“Like it? It’s called Xen.”

The stranger grinned at Gordons awestruck face. “I’ll take you here anytime you want. Fucking, cringe ass nightmares won’t get past me.” He said, his chest swelling with pride. Ah. So this was a dream then, Gordon thought with sudden lucidity. 

Gordon found the stranger oddly alluring. Maybe it was the similarity to Barney, or maybe it was the fact that this was a dream, but he felt attracted to the man. It couldn’t hurt to just…

Before he had the chance to act upon his desires however, he had woken up. 

God. That was embarrassing. Crushing over some dude he made up in his head? Could he really sink any lower? 

He didn’t have time for this. He needed to get ready for work.

  
  


———

  
  


Holy shit, Gordon had almost  _ kissed _ him?! If this was a reaction to his dream bod, making his human sona and fucking around trying to figure out how to place himself into Gordons dreams had been OH so worth it. 

Unfortunately, he had kind of panicked in the moment, hitting the metaphorical big red button in Gordons brain and waking him up a little early. 

Damn. Well, he could work up to that slowly. Gordon had seemed pretty into him, so, that was gonna be a huge help. Maybe he’d even like, let them hold hands ‘n shit. God. How was he supposed to concentrate when he was thinking about that kind of stuff?!

He was lucky the Ben Bots were able to do their own thing without much guidance. He was struggling to function right now. Wouldn’t do to cause multiple organ failure because he was thinking some lewd shit. 

Stupid sexy human. 

  
  
  


———

  
  


Gordon had been seeing Benrey in his dreams a lot. No matter what, he was always a spectator in his mind, offering a little bit of peace and comfort when his dreams turned nasty. Often, he and Benrey would hang out in “Xen”, supposedly where this “Benrey” had come from. 

His mind sure was inventive, that was for sure, he had never seen anything like this before.

He ended up looking forward to talking with him each night, believe it or not. Kind of sad but, hey. He didn’t have many friends at work, other than Barney, Tommy, Darnold, Dr Coomer, and… he supposed Bubby. The man was aggressively rude, but he made him laugh so, he supposed they were somewhat friends. 

This night however, a chill hangout session wasn’t in the forecast. 

He should have known he’d get another wet dream eventually but…  _ well _ .

He really didn’t expect to be part of a security guard sandwich.

It started out normal, at first, Barney coming onto him, wrapping his arms tight around him and kissing him. 

And then he’d felt another pair of arms wrap around his middle. 

“Got room for one more?” Benrey had smirked, breath warm against the back of his neck. 

“B- Benrey-“ Gordon moaned. He was pressed between two warm bodies, and he needed more, more,  _ more. _

He grinded against Benrey’s crotch, Barney's tongue down his throat, and whimpered.

When he later awoke, his bed sheets were very, very wet. 

He didn’t have time to dissect whatever  _ that  _ was,

He struggled enough with his attraction to Barney as is, without the added stress of dream threesomes with an imaginary man. He needed to go dump his sheets in the wash.

Turning the lights on however revealed something unexpected. 

Was his fucking cum  **_blue_ ** ?!

  
  


———

  
  


Holy fuck, score for Benrey. That was effing hot. He had hardly dared hope of getting to first base let alone… we’ll let alone all  _ that _ .

He kind of thought he’d begun to see the appeal in Barney now. He was meh enough as a host, 

held up well as his lift he supposed, but Gordon reacted to him nicely, those soft little moans , coming undone beneath his hands. It may have just been a dream version of the guard, but it would certainly liven things up a little to have the real deal around too. 

He did kind of want to reward him for his help, and he knew for a fact the man was infatuated with Gordon, from his short stint in his brain. 

He wouldn’t share with other viruses, but some lame human dude? Pfft, like Barney couldn't compete against this hot stuff. Gordon knew him for all of like, five seconds, before crushing on him hard. Bet Gordon hadn’t tried kissing Barney when he first met him. What did Barney have, a real working body?

… shit. Benrey needed to up his game. 

  
  


———

  
  


Gordon tried to be subtle. He really, fucking did. He’d brought a small sample of the blue fluid to examine at work. He didn’t keep a microscope at home for fucks sake, so this was his only option. Just a small, easily hidden vial, tucked into his lab coat.

Just don’t tell anybody it’s cum, and it should be fine. 

He waited in line to get through security, tapping his leg anxiously, giving a few “hey, howdy” to the colleagues he recognised. 

Act casual Gordon, act casual. 

He stiffly stepped through the security scanner and was stopped immediately.

“Sir, have you brought any undeclared items with you?” A Guard asked. 

“No.” He lied, like a liar.

“Aight, I’m gonna have to pat you down doc, we gotta do random searches, and you’re the lucky winner of today’s one.”

The man began to shift through Gordons belongings.

_ Oh fuck. _

“Sir.” The guard looked quizzical. “What’s this?”

He said, as he held up the blue vial.

“My cum.” Gordon blurted out. Loudly. In front of his numerous coworkers.

_ Double fuck. _

This was going to be a day. 

  
  


———

He wasn’t sure why Gordon was freaking out over his splooge. It wasn’t an intentional change on his part, but he still figured it was an improvement. Plus, it glowed now. Bioluminescence was cool right? He could use it as a light in an emergency. Multipurpose cum. Cum in a jar, boom, cum lamp. 

It was funny watching Gordon get so nervous about sneaking his fucking mystery goo into Black Mesa though. Freaky little pervert man. He thought about how funny it would be if he shouted out what it was, and the mad lad actually did it. Bonkers. 

Gordon got dragged into the HR sector and it was  _ interesting _ to see how he reacted to getting manhandled by guards. Benrey made sure to file that little tidbit away for later. For now though, he settled back to watch the show, munching on a few stray cells. This was going to be hilarious.

  
  


———

  
  


Gordon was embarrassed by how turned on being dragged by the Black Mesa security guards made him. His mind quickly flashed to a fantasy of Barney and Benrey, but he did his best to block it out. Think unsexy thoughts. Like how you’re gonna explain sneaking in blue jizz into work to the HR department. Or how you’re gonna get fucking fired. 

Yep. That worked.Totally soft right now. 

To his surprise, the HR office was small. 

Tiny in fact. The single person inside swivelled in their chair and…

  
  


“Tommy?!”

“Oh, M- Mr Freeman :)”

“Tommy? Are you like, the entire HR department?”

“Yep! Black Mesa found that it was cheaper to reduce the number of staff in HR. So there’s just me! I’m all alone like a single pea in a pod :)”

The man extended a hand to shake Gordons. 

“I wasn’t expecting you today Mr Freeman, what are you here for?”

One of the security guards next to Gordon coughed awkwardly.

“I think Mr Freeman here can explain it himself. We’ll wait outside.” The door closed with thump, and it was silent.

“Well, Mr Freeman?”

Tommy tilted his head, quizzically. He looked like a puppy. 

“I um- well it’s-“

Oh this was gonna be a  _ bitch _ to explain.

  
  


Long story short, an or two hour later, after having rambled and raved about his blue cum, sharp teeth, sudden gaming obsession, and weird sex dreams, it was decided that Mr Freeman was still not recovered from his recent bout of sickness, and sent back into paid sick leave, for the foreseeable future. 

Tommy was  _ very _ kind about it.

“H- Hope you feel better soon Mr Freeman! I can drop by with Sunkist later. She’s good at making people feel better :)”

As Gordon was forcibly escorted out of Black Mesa, he couldn’t believe what his life had come to. As he packed his belongings for his walk of shame, a familiar voice reached his ears, and he cringed. 

“Heya Doc, what’s this I hear about you ‘causing a ruckus?”

Ah. Triple fuck. 

“Uhhh, um, Howdy Barney, I Uh-“

The security team escorting him snickered. This was the worst day of his life.

  
  
  


———

  
  
  


Haha, holy shit, this was the best day of Benrey’s life so far, and he had lived for eons. 

He wasn’t so sure why Gordon was so worked up over it. He was gonna get paid to do fuck all. It was perfect. 

_ And Benrey would have him all to himself again.  _ Sans one, if he played his cards right. 

Honestly, things were going great. Maybe he could cheer Gordon up later, after he had gone to bed. 

Plus, Barney had stopped by to tell Gordon he would visit later to check up on him. Now  _ there _ was an opportunity. By the gods, he would help this man  _ get it _ . 

But how to go about it? 

  
  


———

  
  


Gordon had almost forgotten Barney's promise to come by, so when he opened the door to his apartment, wearing just his boxers, half dazed from a sudden nap, he thought this was the start of his wet dreams for a hot moment. 

Crushing reality soon caught up to him however, and he slammed the door back in Barneys curiously red face. “Shit, uh, I need to get dressed, just a moment.” he yelled through the door. 

He thought he heard a muffled “take your time.” And blushed, quickly grabbing some loose sweats, and a tank top he wore as sleepwear. 

Reopening the door to a dressed down Barney, no helmet, tie or vest, shuffling slightly, still red in the face, punched him right in the gut. 

Fuck. Seeing his crush in front of his door like that just hit different. 

Was Barney hiding a- ?

No. Nope. Not appropriate. Stop staring Gordon. Stop.

_ “But maybe he likes it when you stare at him” _

A sudden thought raced across his mind. 

He shook it off and greeted his friend slash coworker, in what he hoped was a casual manner. 

“Heya, bud, Um, I forgot you were coming over and uh, took a nap. Sorry, about that.”

He gulped, and grinned nervously at Barney, casually leaning an arm on the door frame.

“You uh, wanna come in?

“ _ Your apartment’s not the only thing he’s gonna come into tonight.” _

Oh geez his horny thoughts were out of control. What the fuck was his brain saying!?

“Don’t worry doc, nothing I ain’t seen before in the locker room.” Barney shifted, not quite looking him in the eyes. He brushed past Gordon, into his mess of a living room. “Phew doc, you live like this?” He joked, nudging at some empty pizza boxes with his boot.

“How you been holding up?”

“Oh well, other than the whole…  _ thing _ at work, fine. Perfectly fine. I’m not even ill anymore really.” Gordon rubbed the back of his head. Sheepishly. 

“You never did say what happened doc, never seen someone thrown out so fast, you throw up on Breen or something?”

“Uh well, actually-“

Gordon considered for a moment. He had known Barney a long time, maybe he could confide in him?

He took a deep breath.

“I kind of sort of maybe  _ tookavialofmyowncumintowork _ ”

Barney blinked.

“Run that by me again?”

“Ok, so ever since falling sick with some sort of flu, my body's been… it’s been changing! I’ve been eating way more, I’ve been sleeping better, my teeth have started falling out and coming back in sharp, I’ve suddenly gotten really into games, and also my cum is blue now.”

Barney laughed. “Jesus doc, what a joke. Next you’ll be telling me Black Mesa is putting powerade in the water.” He looked at Gordons face. “It  _ is  _ a joke right? Doc?”

He stepped forward to place a cool hand on his head. “You running a fever? we should get you to bed. Can’t have my favourite doc’s brains turn to mush.” 

Gordon slapped his hand away. 

“I’m telling you the truth!” He growled out.

“ _ Fuck dude, don’t scare him away, this is your chance.”  _ What the hell were with these sudden thoughts. 

Barney just stared for a moment. His eyes flicked downwards for a second, and he licked his lips. 

“Well Doc, if you aren’t lying. Why don’t you show me.”

Gordon’s brain came to a screeching halt. 

Well, mostly. 

“ _ Oh fuck Gordon gonna get it, score.” _

Maybe Gordon  _ was _ going insane, because Gordon couldn’t have heard that right. 

Barney stepped closer to Gordon, almost close enough to touch. 

“Before I get to sampling the uh- the sample, how about a kiss first doc? 

_ Holy shit this was really happening.  _

_ “Pog”  _ his brain oh so helpfully supplied. 

He gazed down at Barney, and leant in to close the distance. 

Kissing Barney in real life was nothing like in his dreams. He could feel his stubble scratch against his own beard, his mouth was warm and wet and  _ real. _ His skin lit up where it met with Barney’s, trails of fire running down where Barney gently stroked his strong calloused fingers along his neck and spine. Barney gently tugged off Gordons pajamas, as he backed him against a dresser, leaving piles of clothes in their wake. Gordon noticed Barney kept his own clothes on, merely unbuttoning the first few buttons on his shirt, leaving his neck free to bite and suck at, which Gordon took full advantage of. 

“Damn Gordon, I’ve wanted to do this so long darlin’.” Barney panted against Gordon. 

He hefted Gordon onto the dresser and knelt between his legs, thighs hooked over his shoulders, as he teasingly slid Gordons boxers down his hips, and tossing them to the side. “Looks like you’ve been wanting the same?” He said, eyeing Gordons plumped up dick with hunger. 

He looked up into Gordons blown out eyes.

“May I?” He raised a brow, grin wide on his face. Gordon was too dazed to reply, only responding with a fierce nod. A man in uniform was about to suck Gordon off. Holy shit.

_ Holy shit _ .

“ _ You deserve a little pampering for being such a good boy.”  _ a voice inside his head crooned. It didn’t sound so much like his own thoughts anymore, but sounded… familiar.

Barney gripped Gordons thighs as he closed around his length, his mouth enveloping him completely, and Gordon gasped. Barney bobbed his head, tongue licking stripes up his shaft, spurred on by the soft moans Gordon let out. 

He paused to gently tease at Gordon slit and Gordon threw his head back in bliss.

Not helping was the thoughts running through his mind, soft whispers of “ _ let it all out _ ” and “ _ you’re so good for me Gordon _ ” driving Gordon to his brink. Who knew he had a praise kink? 

He gripped a hand in Barney's hair, one hand gripping the side of the dresser, to brace himself against its smooth surface, and let his keening flow freely. Barney's hands gripped at his hips to keep him steady, but he couldn’t help but to rut against his mouth in desperation. 

“ _ I’m- I’m gonna _ -“ Gordon wailed, thoughts too full of praise and bliss to think straight. 

Barney pulled himself off his dick with a slick sound, a chain of drool dripping between his lips and Gordons cock, and freed a hand from his hip to pump at his wet shaft

“You, guh, you got this doc, come for me sweetheart.” He said, and gently pressed a light kiss against Gordons slit. 

Gordon came with a fluttering gasp, cum liberally coating Barney’s face. 

Barney sat dazed a moment, eyes hazy and unfocused, staring up at Gordon with hearts in his eyes. 

And then he snorted.

“Shit, you really weren’t kidding, were ya doc? What kind of funky flu gives you Powerade cum?”

He said, wiping the glowing blue viscous substance off his face. He gazed at the cum coating his fingers, and gave an experimental lick.

…

“Why does this taste like blue raspberry?”

“ _ Because blue raspberry’s the best flavour, duh dipshit.”  _

Gordon couldn’t help it. He laughed at the confused expression on Barney’s face, too hopped up on endorphins to care about post coitus etiquette. He lay boneless on top of the dresser, giggling madly away. 

“I’m glad you think its funny doc.” Barney said, gripping Gordons thighs and tugging him down, so that he landed in a heap on top of him. 

“But I think I still have some unfinished business needing taken care of.”

Barney freed his cock from his trousers.

“Now I don’t know much about treating alien illnesses.”

He rubbed a cum covered finger against Gordons ass, probing for entrance. “But I sure know how you can treat  _ this.” _

_ “This ones a keeper Feetman. Don’t fuck this up.” _

“I won’t.” He thought softly. 

He pulled Barney in for a kiss, and stopped thinking. 

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Got lust in those veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey it’s getting spicy in here haha

After their passionate lovemaking in the living room, they had somehow managed to pull themselves into Gordon’s bedroom, where they had flopped down to cuddle. 

“So. Doc.”

Barney rolled over, propping himself on an elbow.

“What kinda of flu you catch that gives you blue cum exactly?”

“If I knew, I wouldn’t have risked getting fired trying to sneak a test sample into Black Mesa, I assure you.” Gordon felt fully fucked out. He couldn’t do much more than turn his head towards Barney. 

“It doesn’t exactly look like cum. How did they find out?” Barney asked.

“...”

“Darlin’?”

“I might have… blurted out what it was” 

Gordon felt the bed shake from Barney's fit of laughter, the man letting out great big wheezes.

Gordon scowled. 

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. I was under a lot of pressure, ok?”

“I’m sorry but-“ Barney pauses to wipe tears from his eyes. “It’s just too fucking funny doc. Big smart man like you, blurting out you’ve got a vial of your own cum to security.”

Barney collapsed into laughter again.

“ _ It was funny as hell man.” _

A little voice whispered. Gordon did kind of agree. It  _ was _ pretty ridiculous. He joined in with a slight chuckle. “I guess you’re right it is pretty ridiculous.”

Barney interrupted his own fit of hysterics to speak, still wheezing slightly.

“Hey, one good thing came out of it all you know.”

“Oh?”

“I um, got to do this. With you.” Barney smiled bashfully, slight blush staining his cheeks pink.

“ _Cute._ _I helped out too, you know?”_

Gordon shook his head. What was with his inner monologue lately? 

“I’m glad we got to do this too. I’ve… liked you for awhile.”

He reached over to clasp hands with Barney. 

“ _ Oh shit, hand holding, now we’re getting lewd.” _

Gordon chuckled.

“Nobody at work believes me about all this crazy stuff, but… I’m glad I got you.”

“Aw, happy to be of help doc.”

Barney paused, a mischievous smile forming on his face.

“You know, if we’re gonna figure out what’s wrong with you, we’re gonna need more samples.” 

_ Oh. _

“ _ Damn this guy is smooth.” _

That he was. Gordon agreed.

“Uh so, this, are we, uh, you know…?”

Gordon fumbled, unsure of himself.

“I mean, I’ve been having dreams about this but I never thought…”

“You’ve been having dreams about me?” Barney interrupted him, clearly delighted.

“Sure hope I lived up to your fantasies.” He teased.

“Oh fuck, you definitely did, not gonna lie, but um, don’t laugh, please?”

“Yeah?”

“I uh, wasn’t dreaming about  _ just  _ you. There might have been a guy who looks a lot like you called Benrey involved as well…”

Barney froze for a moment, before cracking a huge grin. “Damn, you got the hots for me so bad you imagined a threesome with me, you, and a near identical copy of me? I’m flattered darlin’ , really.”

Barney sat up.

“Next time you dream about me and this ‘Benrey’, tell him he’s welcome to come join in anytime.” He winked. 

“ _ Yeeeeessssir~” _

“Now, how about we get ourselves all cleaned up? 

Barney picked Gordon up, bridal style, and carried him to the bathroom. Gordon’s heart stopped a little, fluttering at the man’s show of strength. Barney was a good deal shorter than him but wow did he pack on the muscle.

He gently lay Gordon down while he filled the tub full of water, testing it with his hand to make sure it wasn't too hot. Gordon got a nice view of his ass as he bended over and felt himself start to chub up again. It can’t have been long enough for his refractory period to pass right? He really couldn’t be ready to go at it again. How could he be hard so soon?

“ _ Reduced your cool down time bro, you can thank me later.” _

When Barney turned around he tried to hide his crotch with his hands, and looked away, embarrassed.

“Wow doc, you got some stamina, huh?”

Barney picked him up oh so casually with one arm, and gently lowered him into the tub.

“Not too hot is it?

He fretted, stroking a hand along his forehead. 

“It’s ah- it’s good, thank you Barney.”

Gordon sighed as his muscles relaxed. His dick bobbed cutely against his stomach, still hard.

“Want a lil help with that?” Barney asked, one eyebrow raised.

“I, it’s fine, I shouldn’t be hard again so soon after I-  _ we _ did all  _ that _ .”

“Come on now doc, don’t gotta be shy. I’m the one who just sucked your cock.”

Gordon only grew harder at the reminder.

“Plus, I think I damn near fucked you silly too. I won’t if you don’t feel like it, but I don’t mind a quick handsy.”

Barney made a crude jerk off motion with his fist, waggling his brows. 

“If you’re sure it’s ok then… why not?” Gordon said.

Barney didn’t wait once given permission.

He reached a hand over, and delicately traced a finger down Gordon’s penis, feeling along the pulsing, throbbing veins.

Gordon groaned at the sensation. 

“I have to say, I like it when you moan like that for me doc.”

Barney teased, as he fondled his balls. 

“I kind of want to hear more.”

He leant over further to press a kiss to Gordons collar bone, as he gently  _ squeezed. _

_ “Ah _ !”

“Let it all out for me Darlin’.”

He kissed along Gordons neck as he stroked him off, pumping his dick at a languid pace as Gordon panted, and pleaded, begging him to go faster.

“Barney, Barney oh fuck,  _ please _ .”

Gordon gripped the sides of the bathtub, warm water lapping at his thighs as he jerked into Barney's fist. 

“You’re doing so well sweetheart, sing for me a little more.” Barney wound a hand through Gordon’s hair, gently scratching at his scalp, as he rhythmically stroked his other hand up and down his cock. 

He flicked at the head of his dick with his thumb, and Gordon damn near saw  _ stars _ .

“Oh,  _ fuck _ , I’m gonna-“

“Go ahead Gordon, come for me.” Barney placed a kiss on his temple, and Gordon shuddered, his dick pulsing in Barney’s hand, and he came all over his stomach. Thick strings of the stuff dripped off Barney’s hand as he relaxed his grip, still gently stroking him past completion.

Gordon was a mess, still desperately keening, and bucking his hips against the overstimulation. 

Eventually, Barney stopped his ministrations as he milked his cock dry, and examined his hand.

“Yep, still blue doc.”

He gazed over the mess he’d made of Gordon. 

“I Uh, I reckon I’ll need to refill the tub to get you clean, won’t I?”

Gordon was in too much of a haze to reply. He muttered something Barney couldn’t quite make out. Barney smiled fondly. “Geez, once I’m done cleaning you up, I’m taking you to bed. You look positively wrecked.” Gordon drifted off into a blissful haze as Barney took care of him.

When he came to, wrapped up cosy in bed, his sheets cool against his flushed skin, Barney lying beside him, he couldn’t help but feel a little grateful. If it was just weird blue raspberry Powerade cum, he could live with that, especially if it kept him in the arms of his attractive security guard friend and coworker. Fuck, he’d dreamed about being held in those toned muscles for months, after he had first come to terms with his attraction to the man. He was hella in denial at first. Shy glances in the locker room, furtive touches to a hand, a shoulder, a cheek. He had never thought to think he might like him back. He never was good at telling when someone was into him. 

He snuggled up against Barney and drifted off again.

  
  


——

  
  


Oh snap, it all worked out. Operation Fuck was a huge success.

Ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em. Pop those champagne bottles and let’s  _ party. _

Right now, he was waiting for Gordon to hit REM sleep, so he could gloat a lil. Beaming thoughts into his mind was hard work, it was a lot easier to talk to him whilst he was dreaming.

Honestly it was impressive how much Gordon would just explain away shit that didn’t fit his worldview. Voice in his head? Oh it’s just random horny thoughts, no big deal. Dude was a full out himbo holy fuck. Benrey wasn’t sure how he was supposed to get the dude to recognise him as a separate individual outside in the waking world. He was sure if he tried to say hi while he was awake the man would flip. Which,  _ would _ be hilarious, but not conductive to a good relationship. Ideally, he’d like it if Gordon was cool with him just, hanging out in his body. 

Maybe he could start dropping hints during his dreams? Lead up to it real slow, get him used to the idea that he’s got a lil gay virus inside of him. Yeah. That could work. 

  
  


——

  
  


Gordon was lying somewhere soft. In the sky, glimmering lights danced across his vision. It was nice. He could feel a warmth beside him and turned his head.

“‘Sup Feetman.” Benrey lay faced towards him, head resting on his hand. 

“Oh, hey Benrey.”

Gordon smiled. Ever since Benrey had started appearing, Gordon’s dreams had started to be lucid. It was nice, rather than be a passive observer in his own dreams, he was able to actually choose what he wanted to do. Right now, he was content to just lie under the stars and lights with Benrey in silence. 

Except, of course, Benrey had other plans.

“So, you and Barney?” Benrey waggled his brows. Gordon blushed.

“Aw, c’mon, it’s not you haven’t been dreaming of being railed by the man for the past, idk, however long it’s been?” Benrey grinned, his wicked grin sending a shiver down Gordon’s spine. “I should know, I’ve been there fucking you with him, giving the dude a high five while we stuffed you full.” Benrey drawled out his sentence, accentuating it with a flick of a long, long tongue against Gordon’s cheek. If Gordon was blushing before now he was positively  _ burning. _

“What’s wrong, lil gay boy shy?” Benrey scooted closer.

“ I- If I’m gay you’re even gayer!”

Gordon whacked his helmet lightly with his palm.

“Whu- wassat for?” Benrey rubbed his helmet, pouting. “You mad you got a gay lil virus in you?”

“...what?”

“You Uh, got the love bug, the suck dick disease.” 

Gordon snorted. 

“Pretty sure I’ve always been gay dude, don’t need a virus to make me wanna fuck a dude.”

Benrey paused.

“Haha, what if tho. What if Um. The virus was gay. For you.”

“The virus?”

Gordon shook his head, and chuckled.

“Viruses aren’t even alive man, I mean, there’s some debate about it but…pretty sure they aren’t sentient any case.”

Benrey fidgeted, and avoided Gordon’s gaze. Gordon creased his brow in concern.

“Are you ok?” Gordon brushed his hand against Benrey’s. “Are you… worried about something?”

Benrey closed the gap and grasped his hand. 

“It’s nothing, idiot. Getting all, like, concerned about me bro? Now that’s pretty gay.”

“You’re literally holding hands with me right now.”

“Uh, no I’m not, you’re imagining things.”

Gordon laughed and tried to pull his hand away, and Benrey tightened his grip.

“Hey cut it out man.” Gordon said lightly, without any real intent behind it, as he tried to move away again. 

Benrey tugged him back, face flush against his chest. Benrey let go of his hand, and wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in his hair, and rolling over onto his back, so Gordon was laying on top of him. “It’s hug time brooooo, can’t escape the hug machine.” Gordon let out a chuckle, and let himself be crushed against the other man’s body. 

Benrey’s chest was soft and warm. Gordon snuggled into it, content. 

“Hmmm… Benrey?”

“Yeah bro?”

“Thanks for being here. I kind of wish you could meet Barney, for real, you know?”

“Pfff, already have, thanks. He’s alright, for some lame human.” Benrey snorted.

Gordon peered up at him. “You know I’m a human too right? And so are you,  _ I think.” _

He tilted his head to the side, biting his lip. It was cute. Like when a Peeper Puppy got all confused and shit. 

“Well, I’m definitely not human. And neither are you, at least, not anymore.” Benrey flicked his forehead.

Gordon winced, rubbing the non existent mark on his forehead.

“What the hell do you mean? Of course I’m human.”

“Hmm, nah, I’d say you’re like, 70% alien at this point. Maybe more? I’m not good at maths so.”

Benrey paused. 

“Oh actually, yeah, let’s change it to 69% alien. Haha, Niiiiiiice.” 

“How- What- what do you mean 70% alien, how could that-“ Gordon sat up, panicked. Benrey held him in place, and started to explain.

“It’s like, Um, that Wikipedia article you looked up the other day. Ship of Theseus, uh, ship gets all fucked up in storms, and bits keep having to get fixed up, until it’s like, completely replaced with new parts. It’s, it’s not hard to understand bro, it’s cool.”

Gordon struggled out of his grip, shoving him away with one hand. 

“W- What the hell are you talking about?!” 

The lights in the sky seemed to dim, casting a shadow on the two. Benrey’s form seemed to shift, flickering in Gordon’s vision. 

“I don’t get it, like, why are you so upset?”

There was a strange tone to his voice. 

“I’m doing you a- a big cool and-“

He grew larger, and Gordon backed away, turning to run, but was grabbed by a giant hand. 

Gordon fell limp as he was brought up to Benrey’s face. Benrey always looked a little odd, human looking but  _ off _ , just barely clawing himself out of the uncanny valley, but now….

Now he was terrifying. 

“Why are you freaking out?”

Gordon could have laughed at the question. As it was, his mind was too fizzled out on fear for him to reply, as he stared at the shifting mass in front of him, too many eyes and teeth and fleshy tendrils to focus on any one part of his “face.”

A buzzing in his ears consumed him to the core loud music in his eatr, and-

Wait, isn’t that the neon genesis evangelion opening theme? Isn’t that his ala-

And then he woke up.

———

  
  


Fuck, Benrey lost it a little there. He messed up, big time. He hadn't meant to start freaking out at Gordon, but, well, the thought that he was  _ unhappy _ about the changes made him feel… bad. Like he was just a parasite or something. 

He wanted Gordon to feel good too, and he thought he had been? Weren’t they both benefiting from this? 

Was he wrong?

Fuck. He really needed to talk to Gordon for real. Not in a dream, things got too… hazy. No, they needed to have a proper Talk with a capital T about their relationship. It would uh, help if Gordon actually knew about said relationship first though. Trying to give him “hints” had failed spectacularly. 

Failed step one, oops. 

Dreams were just too loose, easily distorted. All it took was a little bit of upset to rock the boat. In this case, the boat had positively sunk. Just like the ship of Theseus analogy he’d tried to use. Maybe he should have used the sock example instead, or that funny axe analogy from that one fucking hilarious book.

Damn. Next time.

——

  
  


Gordon could hardly recall his dream as he woke up, other than a feeling of unease that persisted into the waking world. He fumbled for his phone, and turned off his blaring alarm.

“Gee Doc, always figured you’d be more into Gundam.”

The sudden voice made him jump, and he looked around, finding Barney leaning against the door frame with a plate of food and a steaming mug. 

“After last night, I figured you’d be hungry, so I, uh, helped myself to your kitchen. Hope that was ok.” He grinned sheepishly.

He walked over to the bed and sat himself down on the edge, placing the mug on a side table. Gordon went to grab the plate and Barney held him back with one hand.

“Woah cool it doc, that’s gonna be piping hot. Lemme help you out.”

He stabbed a fork into a slice of bacon, and blew on it, before waving it in front of Gordon’s face. 

Gordon blushed. 

“H-Hey! I don’t need you to feed me!”

“Hhhmmm, I don’t know, you ARE on sick leave, seems to me you need a man to take care of you.” 

He winked, and waggled the piece of bacon again.

Gordon sighed, and reluctantly allowed Barney to feed him. 

...Ok, this was kind of nice actually. 

Barney was careful to cut the full English he had cooked into small bite size chunks as he fed him. At one point he ditched the fork to pick up a slice of toast to feed to Gordon directly.

Gordon leant forward to bite at the bread, and couldn’t help but tease a little by flicking a tongue out to lick at his fingers.

Barney jumped a little, and he laughed around the mouthful of buttery toast.

“Damn, getting frisky so early in the morning? Who would have thought a man of science could be so  _ eager _ .” Barney popped his fingers into his own mouth to lick off the butter that remained, and it was Gordons turn to be surprised.

That’s one hell of an indirect kiss. 

Barney raised his eyebrows at Gordons expression.

“Sharing a little saliva is where you draw the line Doc?”

“I think I’d rather you just kiss me directly.”

“Duly noted.”

Barney leant over to give him a quick peck on the lips.

Barney's lips were soft, and plush, and Gordon couldn’t help but chase their warmth as Barney pulled away. 

Barney chuckled. 

“Hey, you still need to drink your tea. Couldn’t find any coffee, you quit or something?”

Gordon paused as he grabbed the mug.

“Uh, yeah actually, been meaning to for a while. I don’t know, It just felt like a good time to kick the habit.”

He took a sip, and grimaced. Barney overdid it on the sugar. He usually took it plain, he felt the milk sweetened it up more than enough without having to add sweetener. He figured there must have been at least three spoonfuls in there. Maybe more. Blech.

He forced a blank expression and chugged it down. It had cooled off enough that it didn’t burn his throat, so that was good at least. 

The distaste must have shown on his face though because Barney laughed.

“Not make your tea to your liking? Tell me how you like it for next time so I’ll remember darlin’.”

Next time?

Ah. Right. So they were a “thing” now then. It was still hard to take in, even the morning after.

He gazed at Barney fondly.

What was he supposed to call him? His boyfriend? That seemed almost too immature somehow. His partner? 

That seemed a little too serious for a relationship that just got started.

Plus, honestly, he wasn’t too sure how… accepting his coworkers at Black Mesa would be.

He knew one of his older colleagues was happily married to another man, Dr Coomer he thought it was? Married to someone named “Bubby”, which, that  **had** to be a weird nickname right? 

Nobody seemed to give them shit about it, publicly or otherwise, through that may be in part due to the fact that the man ran an underground boxing ring, and nobody wanted to start shit with a man who could deck you into next Sunday.

Which. Fair. He’d seen the guns on that man, sheer muscle under a layer of fat. He’d bumped into him once and it was like running into a brick wall. Coomer just picked him up like he weighed nothing and went on his merry way with a “goodbye Gordon!”.

“ _ Humans would give you shit for banging another dude? Wow, sucks bro, totally unepic.” _

Ok he was getting off topic, and those… intrusive thoughts were back. Could he call them intrusive? They weren’t really upsetting or anything, just, kind of random?

They weren’t so bad he guessed. He had had actual intrusive thoughts before, often while riding the tram to work, or while walking across the numerous walkways over pits of death that Black Mesa had for some reason. These were far less stressful in comparison. They were kind of funny actually, said some real random shit sometimes. Maybe he’d been watching one too many streamers and the lingo was seeping into his brain.

“ _ Yeah I’m totes a L33T gamer bro _ ,  _ hacking your brain n shit. _ ”

That was plausible right? Yeah, this was normal. Nothing to worry about.

“You spacing out on me buddy?” He was interrupted from his musings by Barney placing his hand on his shoulder, a slight touch of concern on his face.

“Sorry, I must still be half asleep.” 

“Oh good, your mutant flu didn’t melt your brain then.” Barney patted his shoulder, a cheeky grin on his face.

“Hmm, well, if it does you better take responsibility and keep taking care of me then. Think I could get used to breakfast in bed.”

Gordon swung his legs out from under the covers, regretting it as he remembered, oh right, he was completely nude. 

Why did his apartment have to be so  _ cold _ ? 

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm.” Barney winked as he picked him up with one arm, grabbing a throw blanket with the other.

What kind of fucking training did Black Mesa put their guards through?! And here Gordon though the HEV suit hazard course was intensive.

“I reckon you and I both need a nice quiet day on the couch watching movies. Heck, we can watch that anime you like too if you want.”

“ _ Sweeeeet, let’s watch Face/Off!” _

_ What?! _ No! That movie's shit! 

“ _ Booooo, lame, can we at least watch Bad Boys 2? Paul Blart? Space Jam?” _

Gordon argued with himself as Barney settled them on the couch.

He grabbed the remote and flipped to a channel.

“Oh hey, John Carpenter's The Thing is on. You like horror movies doc?”

Gordon paused in his internal debate. 

“Isn’t that the one with the alien that takes people over or something?”

His thoughts suddenly went curiously silent. 

“Yep. Spooky stuff, huh? I’d be terrified if my dna got absorbed into some freaky monster.”

DNA? Why did this line of conversation feelkind of familiar? 

“ _..._ _Don’t worry about it bro, let’s watch the movie.”_

“Yeah, The Thing looks good, let’s watch that.”

Gordon and Barney settled down for a day of movie marathons, but Gordon felt a niggling of  _ unease _ in the back of his brain. Odd. 

——

Fuck. Was Benrey… a bad guy? He mulled over the scenes from the movie. Not gonna lie, it  _ was _ pretty sick, being able to change your body like that would be pretty useful. But. The people in the movie who got assimilated by “the thing.” They weren’t considered the same people anymore, and the other humans freaked the fuck out at them, roasted the hell out of them with big fuck off flamethrowers. 

If Benrey finished replacing all his cells like he wanted… would Gordon still be “Gordon?” 

Was being assimilated like that considered worse than death? How could that be right?

Was this why he freaked out earlier? 

Damn. He couldn’t really “undo” the process. This shit was permanent. And besides, even if he could, without the upgrades he had made to Gordon’s body, he wouldn’t be able to survive hosting him, his organs would begin to fail like the other humans he’d infected. He was kind of stuck.

Unless of course… he left. 

Finding something else to infect just didn’t sound all that appealing. Like what could he find around here, an ostrich or something? 

Fuck, what if Gordon finally realised he was there and demanded he leave? Or tried to burn him out like in the movie? Fuck, they’d  _ both _ die. That would suck. 

Naw. He had to step up his game, and try to come clean with Gordon properly, so he could convince him to let him stay. He was gonna prove that they were better together. Two players are better than one, gonna get that multiplayer pass  _ bitch _ . 

He was gonna show how much a great cool it was to have him around. Gordon wouldn’t be able to live without him once he was done.

——

The last few weeks since he’d hooked up with Barney had been… good, perfect even.

Barney would drop by whenever he was off work, cook him food, help him clean his apartment, help him take notes about the any changes he’d noticed, like a new sharp tooth, or any change in behaviour.

At work, he would ask around, much subtler than he would, about any illnesses going around, new strains of viruses or anything about “aliens”, which, hah, yeah right. Barney had always been a bit of a conspiracy nut about aliens and shit. He was half convinced Black Mesa had alien experiments in their metaphorical basement, and stuff like test tube babies. Gordon would often listen to him talk about his wild theories before bed, it zonked him right out. His own personal Boyfriend ASMR, gave him the tinglies. He liked hearing Barney talk so passionately about the stuff he liked, it was real cute. 

Other than that, Gordon had been feeling really, really good lately. It was hard to describe, he had like, really good vibes lately? Maybe it was a rush of good chemicals from his new relationship, but it felt like there was more to it than just that. He’d wake up in the morning, take a look at himself in the mirror and his thoughts would be almost narcissistically positive?!

“ _ Looking good, good lookin’.” _

_ “Nice ass today.” _

_ “Hell yeah rock that dad bod!” _

_ “Sexiest Spleen in Black Mesa.” _

It was nice that his self confidence had risen, but it was a  _ little  _ odd how often it veered into being kind of sexual, or just straight out weird. 

Also, for some reason he randomly remembered about seeing a trailer for a film called “Venom” out of the blue, some film that came out a few years back, and became  _ weirdly _ obsessed with watching it. Barney had actually been meaning to watch it himself, so they made a proper movie night of it, dimmed lights, popcorn, pick n mix, the whole works. Barney had jokingly referred to it as a “rom-com”, and had insisted on lighting some candles to fit the _ mood. _

It was a fun film actually. Gordon couldn’t help but think it would be kind of fun to have a “symbiote” (though the ideas of eating brains did gross him the hell out) and said as much aloud.

Barney, predictably, agreed. To be fair, being a hero, even a dark gritty anti-hero, would be pretty awesome. 

“Plus… imagine all the  _ things _ you could do with a partner that shared your body.” Barney waggled his brows. 

“Really, you’d fuck alien goo?” Gordon said, flatly. 

“Like you wouldn’t, I know you’re into that freaky stuff doc, don’t deny it.” 

Gordon threw some popcorn at his head, and laughed, shaking his head. 

Ok, maybe… just maybe, he might  _ consider _ the thought. He’d never admit it though. Telling your new boyfriend you were totally into tentacle porn might be taking things just a little too quick.

“ _Yooooo so you like symbiotes_ _then?”_

The little voice in the back of his head had a little satisfied purr to it this time around. 

“ _ Epic.” _

_ —— _

Ok, so he wasn’t a hundred percent sure why The Thing was bad, but Venom was good, but he think it had something to do with uh… equal exchange or some bullshit?

I mean, how the ability to turn any part of your body into a weapon and survive dismemberment wasn’t considered a  _ bonus _ was beyond him, but yeah, it seemed the important thing was to be all symbiotically buddy buddy, rather than be a parasite and shit. Fuck, he was already doing that wasn’t he, he was plenty beneficial to Gordon!

Ok, so, Gordon didn’t seem to appreciate his new funky coloured baby making goo, but he definitely seemed to make use of his shortened cool down with Barney a lot. The teeth freaked him out, but he was certainly receptive to some of the other added features he’d modded in, like the ability to see in the dark. Man macked down on some mac n cheese at like, 3am and didn’t even need to waste time turning the light on anymore. No more stubbing his toe on random corners either. Improved sight, hearing, all that fun stuff, some real funky superhero style reflexes. Maybe not quite to the level of dressing up in spandex and going out to punch baddies in the face, but certainly an upgrade. It made Benrey feel better knowing Gordon was able to defend himself better now. 

Barney had tried to surprise them once, and Gordon automatically just went and thwacked him right in the face. Some slapstick comedy right there. Gordon had blubbered out an apology, but it was  _ obvious _ how much it made Barney horny being backhanded like that. Oh right, that was another thing. Better at smelling. 

Gordon didn’t seem to have a handle on recognising any of the complex chemical pheromones that people emitted, but to Benrey it was as clear as day when a person was getting all hot and bothered. Kind of a sweet, husky smell. It smelt best coming from Gordon himself of course, but he supposed Barney's scent wasn’t too intolerable. He wasn’t sure if it was the sudden show of physical strength, or if Barney was some kind of masochist, but he was super into that slap. He  _ reeked  _ of horny.

Gordon may not have recognised the smell, but his body did, and it reacted by popping a stiffy as Gordon tried to apologise. Barney took one good look and had pulled him into the bedroom.

Damn. These bitches fucked like- uh, what was an earth animal that fucked a lot? 

...Geese? Eh. He didn’t know. 

They were like randy headcrabs, all over each other. It was nice, made Gordon produce lots of yummy chemicals without him having to do anything, but he did feel a little left out. Sure he had plenty of fun in Gordon’s dreams, but that wasn’t really the same, was it? 

Ok, maybe he was being a little greedy, he already had the man’s body to himself more or less, but he wanted more. He was on that Little Mermaid bullshit. Wanted to be “a part of his world.”

He really did wish he could just, idk, sprout tentacles and play with Gordon directly. Dude was very into that, even if he didn’t wanna directly admit it. He had tried it out during his dreams, and got a  _ very  _ positive reaction. Dude was moaning his name and making those cute lil noises, and oh wow, if  _ that _ wasn’t an ego boost. 

Benrey was usually perfectly chill just talking to him, hanging out, being buddies and all, but it was almost always Gordon who initiated that kind of thing. 

All it took was one word from him, and Benrey would do anything he wanted him to. 

Gordon was  _ his _ , but he was also Gordon’s, even if the man didn’t really know that yet outside dreamland. At this point he was… uh, 50/50 that Gordon would be cool with it if he announced himself for realsies. He liked those odds. Just got to break the ice properly. He thought he had a good idea of how to do it too. Just had to wait for the perfect moment.

——

Barney was at work and Gordon was feeling a little hot under the collar. His hormones must have been working overtime because he had been super horny since getting “ill”, like, all the time.

He wasn’t even that concerned about all the weird stuff his body was doing anymore. Even his new set of chompers didn’t freak him out anymore. None of it seemed actively harmful, and hey, there were a few benefits, so why complain? As long as it wasn’t killing him, might as well enjoy it, right? 

So what if he felt the urge to jack it more frequently? That was no where close to as weird as the whole blue cum thing. Barney certainly didn’t mind, which… ok, a little odd that he wasn’t concerned about catching some mutated strain of whatever was infecting him, but hey, the man had some weird purple mutant pet toad with one eye that he fucking doted on, named Finn Nikola Calhoun. He was into all that weird shit, would probably fuck a Grey or whatever if given the chance. Gordon was just glad all the bullshit happening to him didn’t turn him off. He would be nowhere near as calm about all this if Barney wasn’t with him. He was like an anchor. A gay cowboy conspiracy theorist anchor.

If Barney was here, Gordon would be dragging him into bed right now, but well, since Gordon is alone, he’s just gonna have to make do with old faithful.

Gordon slipped his pants down, and flicked a thumb out to rub at his length. He’s already half hard from that little bit of stimulation alone, and he leaned back a little as he wrapped his hand around it fully.

“ _ Hey _ ,  _ wanna try something that will make you feel  _ **_really_ ** _ good?” _

He paused. That didn’t sound like a stray thought. That sounded like an actual question directed at him. Odd. 

“Fuck it, why not?”

He figured it wouldn’t do any harm to agree. No one was around to see him talking to himself right? 

“ _ Right hold on… give me a sec.” _

He waited a few seconds, not expecting anything to actually happen. He shrugged, and went to start moving his hand but.

He couldn’t. 

He was stuck in place, unable to move a muscle.

_ What the fuck. _

It felt like there was a weight pressing down on him, like, sleep paralysis or something, but he was awake wasn’t he? If he could have, he would have tried pinching himself to check.

_ “ _ Close your eyes while I get your surprise ready.”

His eyes closed involuntarily, and holy fuck, that didn’t sound like it came from his thoughts, he actually felt like he  _ heard _ that with his uh, ears. The voice sounded… really familiar? He couldn’t place it, but it was hard to focus with the sudden rush of panic. He felt his arms move to his side, and a sudden increase of pressure around his lap.

_ “ _ Ok, open those bad boys up.”

He did and- 

_ There was a guy right in his fucking face?! _

_ Sitting on his lap?! _

How the FUCK did this guy get here?! He had his eyes closed for all of five seconds did he teleport in?!

“HOW THE  **FUCK-“** he took a large breath.

“DID YOU GET HERE?!”

“Yo man chill out.”

“CHILL OUT?! THIS IS A PERFECTLY RATIONAL RESPONSE TO SEEING SOME DUDE IN MY HOUSE?! ON TOP OF ME?!”

“I’m not some dude Freeman, I’m ya good pal Benrey. And I’m not in your house haha.”

The stranger droned out the sentence casually, as if he was bored, face centimetres away from Gordons. He couldn’t feel any breath coming from the man when he spoke.

“No- ok, no, you are in my house dude, I don’t know how you can deny that, you’re literally  _ right here,  _ I can  _ see _ you.”

Gorodn wasn’t sure why he was arguing this point with the… Robber? Was he getting robbed? He had a habit of panicking under stress, and yelling… a lot. Other people had fight or flight. He had uh, scream or be mean apparently. 

_ “Wait- _ did you say Benrey how do you-

He gave a look over the man. Dressed in the classic Black Mesa uniform, and he looked suspiciously similar to-

“Benrey?!”

The man grinned at him. Those familiar sharp points sealed the deal. 

“Ok no, no no, this isn’t happening, this is a dream. I fell asleep, and I’m having a weird… horny dream. A horny dream where I get robbed and have sex with a house intruder like it’s some kind of shitty porno.”

“Uh I mean, we can roleplay that later if you want, but uh, I need to talk to ya first.”

Ok so, this was a lot more vivid than normal, but if this was a dream, nothing could hurt him right? He could relax a little. No reason he couldn’t hear Benrey out.

“Haha nice, you’re chillin’ out now? A good calm? 

Aight, lemme give you the deets.”

The man- Benrey rather, shifted back on his lap, crossing his legs. Gordon couldn’t actually  _ feel _ him move, but since he supposed this was a dream, that wasn’t too odd right? He tried to ignore his boner for now and focus on what Benrey was saying.

“Uh so, I’m not out here obviously, I’m too small and not human shaped right? Yeah, so, I can do stuff in your dreams, but we couldn’t have a good cool conversation about uh, us, and stuff.”

Benrey’s face hardly moved as he talked.

“So I uh, tried to think of a way to talk to you properly but you like, thought they were just thoughts and junk, and ignored them. Boo, made me sad bro. And then- I realised your brain could do some real funky stuff if I poked at it right. For instance-“

Benrey tilted his head, and Gordon felt a sudden crawling sensation down his back, like a hand caressing his spine. 

“- I can make you hallucinate sounds, sights and sensations. Pretty cool, right?”

He grinned. 

“Wow… this is a super weird dream.”

Benrey’s grin fell. 

“Nooo, I’m telling you, this is real bruh. Look-“

Gordon felt his arm rise up, and it slapped him on the face. Hard. 

“Ouch?!”

“Haha, why are you hitting yourself?”

Ok. Gordon felt that. This wasn’t a dream? Panic levels rising again. 

“- so um, like I was saying. I can only speak to you like this by messin’ with your brain gunk. Because I’m a little man in your bloodstream. Hello, my name is Benrey, occupation, alien virus, favourite colour, blue, uh, nice to meet you. Ok, your turn.”

Benrey paused and waited for Gordon to speak.

“What the fuck?!”

Benrey huffed.

“No brooooo, the wikihow article said you would say your name and personal facts next. You’re doing it wrong I mean I already know it all since I’m part of your body but-“

“Ok- hold it, you’re- you’re inside me?”

“Haha, gay.”

“Oh my god shut UP, what do you mean alien virus-“

Gordon stopped.

“Aw shit, Barney was right. Guess I owe him a beer.” 

Barney had proposed that Gordon could have caught some kind of alien disease from someone who came into contact with one of “Black Mesa’s secret alien test subjects”. Gordon had laughed, and promised to buy him a drink if he found any evidence of that being anywhere close to the truth. He was gonna get a kick out of this when he got home.

Benrey loomed closer.

“So uh. Are we cool?”

“Cool? Uhhh- about- about what?” 

“About you and me being uh, like, like that film, all symbiotically attached and shit.”

“Uh- Hey wait. Are you the reason my cum turned blue?!”

“Haha, maybe ;)”

Benrey winked, while also simultaneously saying “semicolon bracket” out loud. 

“Whu- Why?!”

“Idk man, why not?”

“Whu- what kind of Virus ARE you, what purpose does blue raspberry flavoured cum have? On what planet does that help you uh, propagate yourself or whatever?!”

“I mean, it doesn’t? Just thought it would be funny.”

Benrey let out a cackle.

“Besides, I’m not trying to uh, pro-po-gate or whatever. I’m one of a kind baby. I’m not like other girls. Special edition, straight from Xen.”

“Xen? Is that- is that where you’re from?”

“Uh yeah, I just said? Use your ears, Gordon Dumbman.”

“If you’re making me hallucinate your voice it doesn’t matter if I use my ears dude.”

“Bbbbbbbbbbbb- details, ugh you’re so pedantic.”

“-I, listen, I don’t- I don’t care. So. You’re saying you’re a sentient virus-

“Yup.”

“-From Xen-“

“Yup.”

“-and you’re infecting me, and making a bunch of changes to my body?!”

“Haha, yup, pretty much.”

“...”

“Oh shit did your brain blue screen? F.”

Gordon was… conflicted. Ok, so he had an answer for all the weird shit that had been happening. That was a positive.

However, the answer for all the changes happening to him was  **absolutely batshit insane.**

**“** If- if you’re the reason this is all happening can- can you fix it?”

Benrey’s face went cold. 

“Uh- can’t do that bro, no can do. Can’t return the game without a receipt n stuff.”

“Then- then can you leave?”

Benrey's face turned absolutely thunderous, and Gordon realised, ah, maybe he  _ shouldn’t _ piss off the alien currently holding him in place.

He gulped. Fuck. He hoped Benrey would kill him quickly at least.

“...’M not gonna kill ya. Calm down.”

Gordon fell limp, his body flopping backwards onto the bed. Oh god. How much control did Benrey have over him? He wanted to panic over that, but felt an unnatural wave of relaxation wash over him. 

“... I can leave if you really want me to too. But uh, do you?”

The apparition of Benrey crawled over him.

Even with the knowledge that he wasn’t really there, it was bizarre how real it felt. Where Benrey brushed his side, he could feel warmth and a slight pressure. It didn’t  _ quite  _ emulate touch but… Gordon wanted to lean into it. It felt nice. 

“Why- why wouldn’t I want you to leave?”

Gordon choked out. He felt unsure of what game this entity was playing. Was he toying with him? What was the point?

“Well um, I think that you quite like some of the other… improvements I made right?”

Ok, sure, it was kind of cool how strong he’d been lately, suddenly able to lift up Barney as easily as he did him, plus all the other small things he’s noticed, like better vision, and so on.

“Plus, you never had a problem with me when we talked in your dreams. Well, we did more than just talk haha.”

_ Oh.  _ Gordon wanted to blame those wet dreams on outside influence but… well, his dreams had been consistently lucid since Benrey started appearing, and he almost always initiated any… activity he partook with Benrey. The only thing he could blame here was his subconscious horny brain. 

Benrey grinned like he could hear Gordon’s thoughts. Which. He probably could, which seemed unfair. 

“I could… show you a very good reason to keep me around right now if you’d like. Just say the word friend. I can make  _ us  _ feel good.” 

Benrey’s hands hovered over Gordons hips, sending a jolt of energy through his body.

Gordon was instantly reminded of his neglected penis. In spite of the bombshell that had just been dropped on him, he was still feeling super horny. Heck, maybe been  _ because _ of it. The feeling of helplessness, the sense of danger, it was all turning him on. 

Unable to move anything except for his mouth, all he could do was stare up at the figure above him.

He licked his lips nervously.

“I- alright. Show me what you’re good for.”

“Sweet. Uhh, tell me if you wanna stop.”

Benrey blinked out of existence and- right, he wasn’t there in the first place was he?

The pressure and warmth where he was remained though.

“ _ Sorry, that takes a lot out of me, it’s easier like this.” _

Gordon felt hands that weren’t really there trail up his chest and he let out a moan. The phantom touches left tingles where they traced against his skin, and his whole body flushed bright red. 

He felt touches slide up his thigh, his back, his neck and chest, even on his feet. 

Benrey of course knew every single part of Gordon’s body, and that included all his sensitive spots. 

Gordon felt what almost felt like a nip to his inner thigh, and jerked in place, still held down by whatever paralysis Benrey had placed on him. 

“Benrey-!”

_ “Feeling good? Gonna feel even better in a moment.” _

He felt his arm turn… not  _ numb _ per say, but it didn’t feel like it was part of him anymore. His(?) hand traced down his hip, drawing achingly close to his crotch before it stopped.

“He- hey?”

“ _ Hmm?” _

“Why did you stop?”

Gordon let out a little whine as he spoke. 

_ “Uh, stop what, you’re gonna have to be more specific than that Freeman. You know how much work it is taking care of so many bodily functions at once? Gotta tell me what you want me to do~” _

This fucker. 

Wait, bodily functions? Shouldn’t his own cells be doing that kind of stuff?

“ _ Bbbb don’t worry about that, it's cool.” _

...He supposed he could worry about that later then. His brain was too far into the fuck zone to worry about anything that wasn’t immediately life threatening.

_... _

Hey, Benrey could “hear” his thoughts right?

Did he really have to say what he wanted out loud? 

“ _ Yep, use that pretty voice of yours for me, wanna hear you  _ **_beg_ ** _ for it.” _

“You sadistic bastard-“

“ _ Aww, come on, I already know about all the freaky things you’re into. What’s wrong with asking for a little handsy between bros.” _

_ “ _ You’re- fuck- you’re gonna make me go soft if you don’t shut up.”

“ _ Man, you’re a lot meaner when you’re awake. Less shameless too. The dream version of you would have already started begging for my-“ _

_ “ _ Fuck! Fine, ok.”

Gordon huffed out a breath he’d been holding. 

“I- please, Benrey, I want you to jack me off.”

Gordon scowled. “You fucking happy?”

_ “Hmmm, could try being a little nicer. You are asking for a favour and all.” _

Ok fine, Gordon was gonna pull out the big guns then.

_ “ _ Benrey,  _ please _ , I want you to touch me. I  _ need _ you.”

“ _ Y- yeah, like that.”  _ Benrey sounded flustered.

Gordon snorted. Benrey could be surprisingly shy sometimes. He’d make Gordon the centre of a threeway, but got all… mushy if he was asked to hold hands. Dude was an enigma. Now that he knew he was some sort of alien virus, he did suppose it made some sort of weird sense. Maybe the species on his home planet didn’t exhibit romantic behaviour? Sure he was a theoretical physicist, and had no education on diseases or alien life forms but it was  _ fascinating  _ to think about how-

“ _ Ugh, you think  _ **_way_ ** _ too much Freeman. Lemme fix that.” _

The sensations running down his body intensified, and his runoff thoughts halted completely. That train of thought had crashed and was now exploding on the freeway, as he shuddered under the sensations assaulting his body. His senses felt turned up to 100, on a dial that was only supposed to go up to ten. He gasped out little choked up sobs, unable to focus through the fog of overstimulation. 

“Gghaa-!”

“ _ Shh, it’s ok, let go, I’ll take care of us. You don’t need to think anymore.” _

Benrey turned his attention back to piloting Gordons arm, slowly guiding it to grip around his dick. The first gentle stroke made Gordons hips buck violently in place, and he let out a groan.

“Hhhn-!“ 

_ “Yeah that’s right, the only thing you need to think about right now is how  _ **_good_ ** _ this feels.” _

Gordon began to feel little twinges against his neck, sharp points of pain that almost felt like small bites and nibbles, as his hand slid up and down his shaft. It felt good, so good, he never wanted it to end.

“ _ Doesn’t have to.” _

Gordon let out whine, wordlessly pleasing for more.

“ _ Aw, too fucked up to talk? Don’t worry, I got you, you wanna come don’t cha?” _

Gordon’s hand began speeding up, quick, sloppy movements, his precum slicking up his dick.

“ _ Go ahead Freeman. You wanna come for me? Go for it.” _

Gordon came with a cry, arching his back as his cum splattered across his chest, his hand still furiously pumping at his cock.

“Hhhnnn- Benrey!”

“ _ F-fuck, yeah that’s right, call my name.” _

_ “ _ Keep going, please- _ “ _

“ _ Oh there’s no brakes on the nut train friend _ .”

Gordon was almost pulled back to clarity with that **_fucking_** statement, hearing himself up to yell at him, because, wow, what the **fuck** what that.

Before he could snap at Benrey, another wave of stimulation rocked through him.

The fuck? Was he cumming again? How was that-

“ _ Uhh, forget I’m like, hooked up to your brain n’ shit? Not used to coming high and dry?” _

_ “ _ Urgh- shut the  **fuck** up, and keep  _ fucking _ me-“

_ “That’s the idea.” _

At this point the stimulation Gordon was receiving was far too much to handle, the phantom touches all over his body, his hand still pumping at his dick, the whispers in his head praising him, telling him how  _ good _ he was doing.

He almost wanted to beg Benrey to stop, but a part of him wanted to keep going, keep chasing that pleasurable high. 

Benrey forced out more dry orgasms out of him, each one rocking through his body like a tidal wave. 

He was nearing his limit, he felt like if this went on for much longer he’d fall apart.

“ _ It’s ok, I gotcha, just one more for me, ok?” _

Gordon came one last time, letting lease a shaky, shuddering cry, tears rolling down his face, and at last, the sensations began to slow and fade, his hand slowing, drawing away to lie limp at his side.

He lay there, breathless, a buzzing mindlessness in his skull, gradually coming back to clarity.

Holy shit. That was a  **lot.**

He could really get used to this.

  
  


——

  
  


“ _ So uh… was that good for you?” _

Benrey swirled about inside Gordon's body nervously. 

Did he do a good job convincing him? Fuck, what if Gordon still wanted him to leave?

“... Benrey?”

“ _ Uhhhh yeah?” _

_ “ _ Good job.”

“ _ Shit, really?” _

“Yes, really, now stop stressing out, I can feel it and it’s making me anxious.”

“ _ Oh shit this thing two way?!” _

“Hmm, guess so. Explains those weird out of place feelings I’ve been having lately. That was you right?”

Aw shit. He was totally sharing his cringe feelings with Freeman this whole time? Embarrassing.

Man, he was gonna think he was all lame and shit. Not POG at all. 

“Dude, chill, you’re fine. ‘M not sure what you’re worrying about, but, that was really good. You can stay-“

“ _ Really?!” _

_ “ _ -under a few conditions.”

Uhh, what? Aw geez, was he gonna get nagged?

“Listen, don’t go changing my body without telling me. I don’t want to, idk, wake up with wings or something one day, you hear?”

“ _ Yessir, no wings, no installing sick mods without telling ya. Got it.” _

“Secondly, we’re really gonna need to explain this shit to Barney. It’s not fair to him if he doesn’t know, though I don’t know how he’ll take it…. shit, what if he leaves me over this?”

“ _ Pffff, dumbass Freeman, I’ve been inside him before,  _ **_trust me_ ** _ , he’s gonna fucking  _ **_love_ ** _ this, dude loves all thing aliens.” _

“... ok, you’re gonna need to clarify what you mean by, you’ve been inside him before.”

Oh whoops.

“..... uuuuuuuh, well, y’know, it took me a few dozen bodies to jump over to you and, um, Barney was how I infected you n stuff, didn’t think you were the first human I infected did cha?

He could probably avoid telling Freeman his explicit goal was to find and infect him specifically right? He might find it weird and creepy if he told him. Yeah, too cringe. 

“... ok guess that makes sense, but, uh, why have you stayed with me? Why not infect someone else?”

Aw shit. 

“ _ Bbbbbbbbbbbbb-“ _

_ “ _ Benrey? Come on.”

“-Bbbbbbbbbbb- ok, it’s cause I like you, dumbass, idiot.”

“You’re a lot less tolerable when I’m awake huh. Dude, I like you too. Love ya even, told you as much in my dreams didn’t I?”

Oh yo what the fuck. He just got given the L. 

L for love. Full homo bro.

_ “No fair, you’ve got cheat codes enabled. Hitting all my weak spots.” _

This was getting kind of serious, damn. He should probably make a bit more of an effort then. 

He couldn’t do it for too long, but he made his dream form appear to Gordon again. Talking face to face was important in a relationship, according to that Reddit thread he made Gordon binge. 

“Oh, hey man.”

Gordon smiled up at him, and wow that wasn’t fair. Times like this, he really wished he had his own body. He tried to smile back, but looking at his own hallucination through Gordons eyes, he could already tell it looked wrong. Ugh this was hard. 

“How come you never did this before?”

“Is more hard n shit than talking in your dreams. Gotta fuck with your brain to make it happen. Didn’t want to fuck it up and hurt ya.”

“That’s… more than a little terrifying not gonna lie, but uh, thanks for the consideration?”

“Would never wanna hurt you. Besides, if you die, I die.”

Gordon grimaced.

“Yeah ok, this is getting a bit too deep, let’s steer away from this line of thought.”

“Got it. So. Um. Uh. Sports. The sports are doing good yeah? Really whacking those balls.”

“... that’s… that’s not what I meant, but good effort.” Gordon chucked, and lifted an arm to pat at his shoulder. It predictably passed through.

“Ah, right, induced hallucination. Forgot. You really feel like you’re right here, on top of me.”

“Pretty sick, right?”

Gordon chewed his lip, and Benrey could catch snippets of thought in his brain, something about… a kiss?

“Benrey… could you… could you kiss me?”

Oh.

“Um, I could- I could try? It um, probs won’t feel like the real thing…”

“Please Benrey, just try, for me?”

Oh this man played dirty.

How could Benrey resist when he acted all cute like that? He’d do anything for this stupid human. 

_ His  _ stupid human.

His his his. 

The thought made him dizzy. Gordon was really ok with him, heck,  _ he liked him back.  _

He wanted a kiss? Fuck, he’d  **_get_ ** a kiss. 

——

Gordon watched as the apparition of Benrey leaned down, lowering his face close to his. 

“Um, might be easier if you close your eyes, don’t wanna clip through your face and freak you out.”

Ok, got it, he could do that. He closed his eyes, and waited. 

He felt a warmth on his lips, a tingling sensation. Benrey was right, it didn’t feel like a real kiss but… that didn’t matter. It was perfect.

“Gordon, darlin’ you would not believe the day I’ve had at work-“

Barney stopped as he saw the mess that was Gordon, flopped across their bed.

“-sweetheart, why are you half naked and covered in cum?”

Oh. Oops. Well, no better time to start explaining. 

_ “Haha, have fun with that Freeman.” _

“Well uh, you know that theory you had about alien viruses? I think I owe you a beer…”

Turns out, Benrey was right. Barney was really,  _ really,  _ into the fact his boyfriend had an alien inside him. Pretty fucking ecstatic actually.

“Damn, could Benrey change  **_my_ ** dna if he wanted to?”

“Uh, well-

“ _ Haha, hell yeah, I’ll help a bro out, you two can be superheroes together lol, Gordon Freakman and Barney Calzone.” _

Gordon sighed. He loved both of them, but wow, they could both be a lot sometimes. 

Barney more than made up for his eccentricity with his sweetness, but wow Benrey would just not shut up now that they were “officially” together. He supposed he would get used to it. 

This was something new, but hey, the three of them could navigate it together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok sorry it took so long lmao  
> There’s a chance I might add more to this in the future, but for now, it’s done.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the beta readers on the server! Love ya!


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